I vividly remember the smiling faces, the incessant chatter and all that baby talk. You had arrived. How can I forget the amusing look in your eyes when our eyes met for the first time?
I guess you were more intrigued than anything else. You were hell bent on scratching and patting the bonny little baby in front of you. And you learnt to be friends. We became friends. And such good friends! There is something so organic about childhood friends, no pretension, no expectations , no baggage. Even though I ended up carrying all the baggage our relationship endured over the years. What was just a give and take relationship blossomed into a beautiful bond..And without my knowledge I became your friend and confidante. I kept all your secrets, safe in my heart. It is not my nature to give away so easily unless I am pushed to the limits. And pushed I was, how badly…
Have I ever let you down in all the hide and seek games we had with your friends? Haven’t I always shown you the best inaccessible corners of the house? Was it my mistake if you decided that day to sneak into where you sneaked into? Was it my mistake your buddy shut those strong iron doors and hid the key? How would I know what started as an innocent game would turn into such breathless, manic attacks! I was the scapegoat again. You hurt me friend, you did that day. You hurt me from inside. And your parents, they thrashed me to ends. With a broken heart, I was banished. You knew the truth, why didn’t you utter a word friend? May be I was expecting a tad too much for my own sake. As someone said, make friends with equals, and I was not one with you. Not with any of your friends, not with your kind.
And you come back now? Why? I was never a part of your life after that incident (which I reiterate was no mistake of mine).You graduated, got your first job, married. But I was jinxed forever. I was useless. Until you welcome the bright little thing in your lives. A bundle of energy he is. I see your reflection in him, a friend that I lost long ago. A friend I wished to grow old with. Irony is he loves me the way you did once, but I know for a fact he won’t betray me ever. Life has come a full circle for me. I share the same secrets with him now that you once did. I don’t know with my weak memory how much of that I will cherish, but I love him to bits. And he adores me. I am happy like never before.
I don’t want to see your face anymore , old friend. I detest your emotional banter about our troubled childhood together, it was troubled for you, I was always pure and honest with you. I hate you patting and hugging me. I hate you showing me off to your better half as your first-ever friend. I absolutely despise the idea of moving in with you ! I dont trust you !
For I was not. You just loved yourself all the time, never me. In me, you just saw your own reflection. In me you stored your dearest memories and with me you shared your greatest joys. You just used me to your needs and finally left me in the lurch !
Rusted I am now, but come and see your reflection in me. The mirror is still intact on my walls. You will see how nasty you have grown over the years..
Thanks but no thanks, please leave me alone..
Your rusty old cupboard …
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