Of a dream and a nightmare


“Open wide please.”

Reluctantly I let open, my pink fleshy insides all exposed. I knew it would be painful, I knew it would hurt. But he was the only man I could trust.

I looked at him, my eyes filled with fear and hope. An unknown fear crept somewhere – what if something goes wrong! Yet a hope held me, he does it every other day. He can’t go wrong. All I had to do is trust him and relax my muscles.

His aide looked at me. A fine young lady, in her early thirties, she darted a strange smile, half mixed with sympathy at the situation I had put myself into and half that of mock laughter at my sheer helplessness in that room, where she had witnessed her ambidextrous partner rip apart both men and women of their veiled silence.

She put a ceremonial black drape over my eyes, as if announcing the grim course of events that were about to follow.

He was getting ready. All I could see is his dark brooding eyes exploring what would soon be his victorious catch; then without a hint of caution he put it in.
His hands now groped my insides as I felt a sudden tinge of pain, as if something pierced through my tender flesh. My eyes shut tightly, praying it would be over soon, hoping he would take out that grotesque thing out soon.

“Relax, it won’t hurt long.”

Hell it hurt like death, death can’t be painful than this, I thought. Half opening my eyelids, I looked at him as he moved away leaving me on that black dreadful couch of his.
He was right, it lasted just a few moments, after which I realised that the shudder of my bones and the tension in the muscles were gone. I was now ready, to be used by him.
The aide stood there watching me intently, gauging my pain or counting her gains, I didn’t know. She most probably didn’t care a damn; she was just an aide, a helping hand in one of the most satanic deeds mankind willingly engaged.

My mind wandered away, to the night before and each night before last night. Every evening had started on the same note.

“Please don’t leave me tonight.” She would beg every night.
“I need you, hold me, caress me, and kiss me.” All I would do is look at her loving eyes and immerse myself in that vast blueness.
“Please, not tonight..I have waited long, almost a lifetime. Don’t you remember..”

And then before she could go to the next word, her image would flash in my weary eyes. When I was all of eleven, I had fallen in love with her. She was my first love, my first crush, my first dream.
Yet I had wandered, I had almost lost her. Till she had found me back again on one rainy afternoon.

I was not the same; I had changed for the worse. However, like true love, she was still the same. The same passion, the same innocence sparkled in her eyes that had once enticed me to a land where I would lose myself in her words, endlessly, tirelessly.

Not until that afternoon did I realise what made me the man I am today. It was my love for her. Unknowingly she had shaped my personality, my entire life!

What started next was a reprise of a torrid love affair, where night after night we both would lose ourselves in the close embrace of each other. It grew so much on me, I would look out for excuses to be with her, be it day or night.

And then the nightmare of the demon that was breeding inside me surfaced.
Each of her requests to spend the night with her were unceremoniously rejected, her love no longer had the power to drag me out of the hell the demon was pulling me into. Worst is, I knew what injustice I was doing to her.

The voice of the devil must be heard, his wishes fulfilled, unless I wanted to rot in the excruciatingly painful hell that he had pulled me into.
Go meet him, the exorcist, the bone collector, I was told. Reluctantly I had to agree, I had no other options left for me, to live a life.

Before I could think any further, he appeared by his wicked eyed aide, clutching the grotesque equipment in his hands and all I felt was his equipment ramming my insides, I could feel his repeated attempts, with each thrust my insides breaking a little, bleeding a bit more until he took it out and I felt a hollow inside me.
He laid out now on his palms, the demon, a half broken tooth, soaked in my blood and saliva. With a calm smile, he had now taken off his masks and gloves and his demonic equipment away.

The black goggles were out now too, his aide smiling warmly at me.

The nightmare was over.
Time for me to go back to you my dream, my childhood love, my world of words. Wait, I am coming.

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